At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
