I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Im part way to drunk.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize