OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
