He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
