Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
