So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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