I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
