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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!

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• (516): View more from New York

  watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!

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