yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize