yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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