worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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