...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize