so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
