Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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