Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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