you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Drunk is not a location!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
