im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
