Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
