Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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