Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
