Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
