Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
