OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
