I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
