I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
