Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize