I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
