Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
