I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
