Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
