i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Randomize