Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
