So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
