oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
