After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize