he wants to bone in the snuggie
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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