Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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