Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize