Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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