508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
