i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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