I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
