it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
