i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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