I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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