The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
