Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
