1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Congratulations! We have a period
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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