Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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