piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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