a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
