dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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