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Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize