toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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