the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize