i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
