you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
