I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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