office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
