i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
