He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
