I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
