no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize