no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
