In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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