Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize